For The Love of G

day 503

I really have no reason to complain about anything right about now.  Sure my life isn't always so swell, nobody's life is, but I am alive and I have no reason to bitch about all my silly woes.  When I really think about it, my woes aren't so woeful.  Everything seems so minor when I think of folks that are suffering all around the planet especially those suffering from a horrible illness.  That's what has been on my mind off and on over the past few years and as of late, it's an every day occurrence.   I  can go about my day doing what needs to be done, laughing at things and enjoying life but through out each day my thoughts turn to someone who is so kind and so wonderful and who is fighting a horrific battle with Cancer. Cancer is a real motherfucker and CANCER SUCKS!!  So I can go on and on about Those Damn Birds, Rasputia and her mood swings, stolen plums, the Ice Cube War and never having enough money to pay for the silly things I want let alone the very important things I need.  It's just not worth the time and energy to complain so much.

Every once in  a while you meet a person who is just so awesome and you immediately fall in love with them.  They may be awesomely kind or funny or maybe awesomely beautiful or smart. They may just exude goodness, which is a rare quality in this wacky world.  They're not perfect, but they are just one really good human being.  4 years ago I met a person with all of these qualities.  She didn't know me very well but she showed me kindness and took me under her wing during a really low point in my life when I just needed that kind of compassion but would never dare to ask for such a thing.  We only spent a short time together but it was enough time to form a bit of a bond with someone who shares my views of the world and does her best to spread sunshine. (Believe it or not, I too been told I spread sunshine on occasion.  I am not making this shit up.)  So, we had some good talks and laughs, ate some amazing vegetarian food together, she bought me Snapple and we even went to see a movie together.  In my world if you buy me a Snapple or take me to the movies you are a VERY good person indeed!

I kept in touch with her because she was so damn groovy and I saw how much she was adored by other people and I could easily figure out why.   When I learned she had Cancer I was just blown away and all the details filled me with sadness. It just didn't seem fair but I knew she would be positive and up beat because that is her nature. Then I did something I normally don't do, I prayed.  I know that sounds really odd and funny coming from a girl who is constantly filled with doubt but I prayed because I knew she wanted me too.  I knew it was the right thing to do for someone like her.    I had all of my church going friends keep her in their thoughts and prayers too and they still do.   It's the only way I can help someone who lives many, many miles away from my home.  If I lived closer I know I would be able to do much more but since I don't, I  do what I can do. 

So when I sit back and think of all the times I have been so selfish in my complaining and even my thoughts of ending my own life, I feel ashamed, really ashamed.  Here is a woman who wants to live and has a lot to live for and I am being such a selfish asshole by thinking only of me. Oh woe is me, waa, waa, waa my life sucks, etc, etc.,   I really need to shut up sometimes!!  This cool girl considers herself to be blessed and in many, many was she is. She shows so much kindness to  other folks and in turn folks simply adore her.  It reminds me of that Paul Williams song lyric "You give a little love and it all comes back to you. . " that is  just the kind of person she is.   Now it's true this lady  and I are not best friends or even close friends but she did help me out of a rough spot 4 years ago.  An e-mail here or there and a letter that I still read every once in a while, it all just made me feel good about myself.  I bet she never even knew she did that for me.  She and her husband really made me feel so very special and loved during my time in their town and you just can never thank someone enough for that.

When I sit back and think about my life, I am really thankful for EVERYTHING!  The list is endless and I hope that everyone I know and everyone that reads this can say the same thing.
If life were really like TV or the movies this would all end on a happy note and we'd all have a good laugh before the closing credits.  I try to stay positive and think that something good will come her way, at least that is how it plays out in my head. I imagine her husband suddenly becomes Oprah rich and can afford to pay all those medical expenses and that this groovy chick snaps back into the picture of health and writes a book about it and eventually Kate Winslet plays her in the film version.  I really LOVE Kate Winslet and most of her films.  I don't know what is going to happen  but I keep thinking good thoughts for that storybook ending.  There are a lot of folks praying, meditating and doing all they can for this special lady so it just might work.  It just might. 

So tonight before you drift off to sleep, think of this amazingly strong woman and say a prayer or whatever it is you do, and please do it for the love of G.

off to enjoy another sunny, SUNNY day!

****UPDATE****
I am sad to report that the storybook ending did not come true. G passed away peacefully on Tuesday October 18th.  Please keep her family and friends in your prayers.